Do you know a person like this?
Someone who almost always seems to be in a good mood. Life’s challenges don’t them to faze this person. Even in though situations a person like this seems calm and collected.
Yet you can’t figure out why that is the case. What’s this person’s secret?
In this article, I will show you what those happy people have in common and how you can become one of them.
Fortunately, it’s like Leo Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina:
“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”Leo Tolstoy
They don’t care what other people think
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean you should become an emotionless robot and not care about anyone anymore.
But caring too much about people’s opinions can hold you back in life.
For example, let’s say your current job is not fulfilling for you anymore. You remember a passion you always had since your childhood. But you only pursued this passion as a hobby. Now you want to turn it into a career.
You create a website, make a business plan and invest some money into advertisement. After all the hard work you have a chat with your friends. They ask you what you do for a living. Full of excitement you tell them about your new passion.
But they don’t care. They even discourage you. “That’s unrealistic, get a real job,” they say. You doubt yourself. After all, if even your friends don’t like it, you will probably fail anyway.
Many people are discouraged from pursuing their true passion. And often they give up before they gave it their all. Make sure to genuinely listen to your friends and coworkers, but only believe them if you think they have a valid point.
Ultimately, it’s your life after all.
They know everyone has flaws
Having flaws is only human. And they have both up and downsides.
How could having flaws be something positive?
Well, acknowledging that everyone has flaws makes it easier to forgive your friends and acquaintances. Forgiveness is a key ability of happy and successful people. Holding grudges drains your energy. And you have a better use for that energy.
But your other people aren’t the only ones with flaws. You have them too. Just like I do. And acknowledging your own flaws makes you a humble person. You will not only be happier, you will also radiate a positive energy that will inspire other people.
Do you know a person who elevates your mood just by being there?
Acknowledging your own flaws makes you humble. Acknowledging other people’s flaws makes you compassionate.
They speak with their actions
What you do is far more important than what you say.
Lets say you’re on a date. You talk with your date for a while. There is chemistry between you and him. Until you realize how rude he is to the waitress. Your initial attraction for him is gone. Now you have several options.
- Aggressively call him out on his rudeness.
- Politely ask him why he is rude to the waitress.
- Ignore it and never interact with him again after the date.
The first option is the worst.
At best, he will be defensive and passive aggressive until your date is over. At worst, you will get into a heated argument and everyone else is watching you. Trust me, you don’t want that 🙂
But the second and third options are both viable. You don’t need to say anything, if you don’t want to. It’s unlikely that you will get a response that justifies his behavior anyway.
If you want to say something, be polite and don’t let yourself become trapped in a heated debate.
You can be sweet as pie in your tone as long as your actions speak for themselves.
They take care of their mental health
As a society, we are becoming more aware of our mental health issues than ever.
But even today, not everyone takes their mental health as serious as they should. I recommend a daily ritual, like meditation, for example.
Meditation is maintenance for the mind. And you don’t need to meditate for a long period. I recommend 10-12 minutes every morning and evening. Ideally right after you wake up and before you go to bed. This way you start and end your day with a clear mind.
It doesn’t have to be meditation though. You can try autogenic training, progressive muscle relaxation, or just listen to your favorite songs.
Try a few suggestions and observe how you feel when you’re done. If you feel more alive and full of energy, then you’re on the right track.
If your problems are severe, don’t be afraid of therapy. Even celebrities get professional help if they can’t deal with their problems by themselves.
They don’t obsess over social media
Are you on Instagram?
Social media is both a curse and a blessing. It connects us with our friends, but we tend to compare ourselves to others. And no matter how great you are, someone out there is always better.
So what can you do? Delete all your social media accounts and throw away your smartphone?
No. You can try it if you want.
But I’m sure you will come back soon 😀
This is all about moderation. Try turning as many push notifications off as you can. This way you won’t be interrupted as often.
There are also browser extensions that limit the time you can spend on social media websites. After the time is up, they block you from accessing social media websites.
I know a writer who shuts down his Internet every time he writes. It’s just too tempting for him to waste a lot of time on “research”.
Some people, especially older folks, don’t seem to understand that you don’t need to read every single tweet in your Twitter timeline. Or that a thing such as oversharing exists.
They take care of their body
It’s not just your mental state that affects your happiness. Your body needs to be in good condition as well.
Both eating healthy and exercising will increase your energy level.
And you don’t even need to be strict. Take exercising, for example.
You can go jogging three days a week. Or do yoga. Choose a sport that’s fun. If you don’t enjoy it you will not stick with it.
I have a similar approach to nutrition.
Allow yourself one cheat day per week. On every other day of the week, just replace unhealthy food and drinks with more healthy ones. Do this one by one.
For example, if you eat cereals every morning, you can replace them with oats. Just drop some oats in a bowl and pour milk or soy milk into it. Then add some fruits. If you’re in a hurry, you can eat the oats without the fruits.
But none of this should feel like a chore. For me it’s like playing a game. One by one, I notice something unhealthy. And then I replace it with healthy food or drinks. That’s easier than changing your entire diet and exercise plan all at once.
They live in the present
Do you believe any of the following statements?
- Most things were better in the past.
- You have to accomplish something great before you can date someone.
- You often bring up events from the past and can’t let go of them.
- Living the same lifestyle for a long time.
If any of those statements resonates with you, then you live in the past instead of the present.
In most cases, the first statement isn’t actually true. Often past events are remembered more positively than they actually were. That’s because our memories are vague.
Just think about all the technological and medical advances in our society.
The second statement is common among men. Men often think they need a certain amount of money, fame or expensive items to impress women.
But you don’t need to achieve lots of things before you can do something. Don’t get me wrong, money, status, traveling and living a luxurious lifestyle aren’t inherently bad. Just don’t use them as an excuse not to do something.
Why do we think the past is better than the present?
“We prefer past happiness to future uncertainty.”Kim Land
What’s wrong with the fourth statement?
Having daily rituals and routines is fine. But if you are doing the same thing for several years, chances are you’re limiting your growth.
Tradition becomes security. And when the mind is secure it’s in decay.
Make sure to change things up once in a while.
They don’t brag about being happy
Do you know anyone like this?
People who constantly mention how awesome their life is.
Here’s a secret:
If someone constantly feels the need to tell you how awesome they are, chances are they’re not that awesome.
People content with their life don’t feel the need to constantly mention this. They just live it.
What if you notice yourself doing this?
You need to be honest with yourself. Not just in your daily conversations, but on social media as well.
Sharing interesting stuff with your friends is fine. But look in the mirror and decide how much of it is bragging and how much is genuine information.
But what if your timeline is full of people who love bragging about themselves?
If you follow many people like that, you risk comparing yourself to them. Or rather the image they show you of themselves. If you don’t want to block them, at least know that they are showing you an idealized image of themselves.
There’s no need to compare yourself to an illusion.
They don’t complain constantly
This is the exact opposite of the above.
Someone who constantly complains about everything. Being around people like that drains your energy.
But becoming one of them is even worse. Not only are you unhappy, you will also attract other unhappy people.
Because no happy person wants to be around someone who is often negative. It’s the law of attraction.
What can you do if you notice yourself complaining a lot?
In some environments, constant complaining is common. This can be the case at work, for example. You might even be the odd one if you don’t complain. In most cases, it’s not a constructive use of your time though.
But changing this habit can be difficult. You talk about negative things because you think about negative things. If you struggle with this, I suggest mindfulness meditation. It will probably take a while until mindfulness meditation will have a noticeable effect on your daily life, but it’s worth it.
I hope you can incorporate some of these tips into your life. If they helped you consider sharing this article with your friends.